Asking for help is one of the most difficult things in life. No one wants to be known as “the weak one.” We want to be strong, self-sufficient, and able to handle whatever comes our way. And being pastors adds its own layers of pressure. As a result, it’s not uncommon for pastors to struggle with asking for help.
As difficult as it might be, however, learning to ask for help can make you stronger and more effective in your role. Here are three ways asking for help can improve your ministry:
1. It Improves Relationships
When you learn to ask for help, you become less of an independent person and more of a team player. Your interactions with colleagues will become more collaborative and mutual rather than competitive and contentious. You will find yourself talking with those you have had disagreements with because you need their assistance.
In this way, the whole church benefits because conflict is resolved, people’s strengths are built up rather than denigrated, and everyone focuses on their strengths rather than their deficits. People are drawn to ask for help because they know they will get the right kind of help that will enable them to move forward. This, too, will reflect positively on the church.
2. It Removes Mental Roadblocks
Many times, people have to overcome a lot of mental blocks to ask for help. There are three I find to be especially significant for pastoral staff. First, some pastors may have strong “manhood” issues that keep them from asking for help. This is usually wrapped up in thoughts about their weaknesses, which are threatening because they show people “that they’re not really in control.”
Second, many times we talk ourselves into thinking that people will ask for help from us but not the other way around. Third, many pastors see themselves as having little time or need to ask for help. They just don’t see the value in it. In each case, there are mental roadblocks at work. Some roadblocks can be overcome with proper encouragement. Others can be removed through taking steps towards it and seeing it isn’t as bad as they thought.
3. It Helps You Focus On What You’re Good At
Finally, when you start getting good at asking for help, you begin focusing more on what you do best while recognizing the value of others’ gifts. This takes the pressure off of you and helps you to feel less like your job is on the line every time someone asks you something. Instead, you can look at your pastoral responsibilities as opportunities to grow the entire body of Christ rather than just feed a few weak areas of your church.
There’s no doubt about it: awsking for help is one of the hardest things any of us will ever do. But it gets easier over time and leads to greater personal satisfaction as well as stronger relationships with those who work alongside you. If you really want to grow in your ministry, you must learn how to ask for help, whether that be from your staff, elders, or other church leaders.